4 words: hood of his car
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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