and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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