you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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