Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
