i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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