I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
