Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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