My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
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I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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