How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I wear drunk well.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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