I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
