white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
