go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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