My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
