Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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