how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize