Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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