I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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