hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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