her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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