Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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