I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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