In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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