So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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