She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
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On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
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I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize