No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!