You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Yo dont text me then not text me
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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