Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
