he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
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He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
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I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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