This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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