I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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