Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
