omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize