Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
