Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
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im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
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I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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