She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
