There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
