i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
