I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
