Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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