Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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