How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
