i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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