Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
