i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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