is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
