I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
