Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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