sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
