STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
