I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
