When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
