I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
