hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
