I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
