My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize