i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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