and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize