Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
