not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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